Here’s an interesting anecdote.
A room full of army officers were asked a question. These army officers were students on the Advanced Operations Couse (AOC), which is reserved for those majors who have been identified for progression within the organisation. They are considered the cream of their cohort, with potential to end up leading units or brigades in the future.
These officers were asked, ‘how many of you have ever had a bad boss?” Nods and hands raised from the entire group. None had made it through their career – and all had at least 15 years of service, some many more – without being subordinate to a boss they recognised as embodying poor leadership. But this was not the interesting question. That was next.
“How many of you ARE a bad boss?”
No hands were raised, no heads were nodded. Silence was the only answer.
The implication was clear. For this many people to have had so many poor bosses in their career, there was no chance at all that some of them weren’t, themselves, bosses that others would have thought of when asked the first question. No one wanted to acknowledge this truth – but it rang out clearly in the room, and all present heard it.
It is easy to recognise those leadership traits in others that do not inspire trust, confidence, or caring. It is far harder to realise – or accept – when we do not inspire those feelings in others.
I have found throughout my career that bottom-up feedback is scarce, but incredibly valuable. Top-down feedback is more prolific, usually more critical, and based on observations that are removed from the experience of direct reports. Often, answering the question of whether we’re someone’s bad boss requires seeking out the knowledge. People won’t necessarily be afraid to tell you (and if they are, you have your answer anyway). And you won’t be seen as egotistical (unless you are, in which case you have your answer anyway).
Feedback is a gift, and it’s one of the rare ones you can ask people to give you. Asking is hard, there’s no doubt. Harder than not knowing if you’re a bad boss? That’s a question you’ll have to ask yourself. And harder still – knowing what to do with the answer. But you can do less without it – and asking the question is the first step to improvement.
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